As a reward for myself after todays Women & Politics test and as a way to release some of the stresses I have been feeling lately (which also seem to be making my hair fall out) I am going to be doing some fun internet related things this weekend.

I am finally going to change my About Me page in preparation for more traffic due to NaBloPoMo in November. I am also going to be listing items on Ebay, but you’ll hear more about that when I put them up.

I really need to go study for my exam, but I want to make my About Me page more like an interview. To make it a little more fun and different.

So I would like you all to (please) ask me at least one question. You can ask as many as you would like, but at least one would be fantastic. I will add them to the interview and they will find a permanent place in my About Me section. You can ask anything you care to and I swear it will be answered. This will also help me look like less of a dork asking myself questions. Thanks you guys!

Okay…I’m off to study the different types of feminism, which you would think I would already know about.

He said he loves her back!!!!!!!

I broke my sidebar. I was trying to take out the swapping and doing sections and when I looked at the finished version all main text and sidebar was gone. I tried to put in just the main sidebar, but again everything disappeared. Then I tried to redownload the theme I am using and for some reason the files think they are photos, but of course they can’t be viewed with my photo viewer and I can’t figure out how to open them to anything else.

Plus I have no room in my head for this because of all the bio-speak and women’s participation in American politics. I really can’t handle it right now. So…no sidebar for you. I hope you didn’t want to search for anything today. I’m going to go try and pull my head out of this vice.

IN OTHER NEWS

It looks like I am definitely not getting the rest of the money for school…This sucks. I also have to drop another class. That class is going to be Biology. Yeah, I know. I’ve been studying so hard, but I’m failing anyway and maybe it’s for the best. It’s just one semester anyway. I can focus on my other two classes and study Biology independently from the book. Then next semester when I (HOPEFULLY) am going full time I will be better prepared and I won’t be so behind. So maybe I should stop studying for the exam? I don’t know. I just found out about this and I feel so frustrated and let down. I just can’t handle this today…or this month. I am so overwhelmed.

I have two exams on Friday. One on the scary Biology and one for Women & Politics. I was supposed to have a meeting with a tutor today, but he canceled last minute. Hopefully we can still get that in before Friday’s test. My teacher is also hosting two review sessions tonight and tomorrow night and I fully intend on going to both of them. I will really need the help. It also turns out that I am the only student in the class who has never taken Biology before. This puts me so far behind everyone. I hope I can catch up. I already decided that if I fail the class I am going to take it again next semester. I don’t care if it takes me 8 years to get my degree in Biology/Pre-Med. At this point I am not willing to give up. I will only change my major if I find something else I am as passionate about as being a doctor and that I won’t feel like I am settling. Speech pathology is still a viable option.

It’s Autumn*! I love this season! I feel like I am missing it. The Apple Festival I went to last year is back. It’s this Saturday and I so want to go. The elementary school is having a craft fair also that day and it’s little so it’s more than possible to do both. There is also the Bloomsburg Fair going on this week, but I doubt I will be attending. It’s big and they have a bunny exhibit that I enjoy it’s just not something I usually get to do. There is also the Arts & Crafts Festival that I want to go to, but it is the same weekend as a wine fest in Cape May that I have tickets to. Kasey goes to church on Sundays…but maybe I could go alone. I also want to go to Heckman Orchards.

You also might know that I love all things pumpkin. (Except oddly pumpkin pie.) So I was amazed when I saw Edy’s new fall flavor of pumpkin ice cream. It even comes in Slow Churned, which I prefer. I have to get some before it’s gone. I would even consider getting two of them so I have enough all winter. Yum!

Grey’s Anatomy is new tomorrow! I considered just TiVoing it and waiting to see it until after my tests, but that is just to harsh a punishment. I don’t know how I could be more excited about anything. It’s going to be so great. Thursday is also wing night at this local place in town so my mom, me and Kasey are all going to get wings and watch the fabulousness that is Grey’s. I hoping for a George/Izzie hookup in the first episode. Last season was way too sad!

Title: “Autumn” by Paolo Nutini

I am in my room writing on my website! YES! After months and months of going crazy I finally got my stubborn computer to admit that there is indeed and internet connection at my parent’s house and finally connect to it. I am beyond thrilled. I needed this tonight. I had problems getting my computer to connect at school and then I logged into the guest screen and got it to connect there then I logged out and back into my screen and the connection was still there. I tried that at home a voila! Here I am.

It’s nice to be able to connect at home. I’m actually thinking that I might start leaving my computer here and using the dinosaur computer at work. I think it would help build back up my productivity at work and also give me a way to cope with being alone at night.

I am also downloading music. I know that all of you already go online at your homes, but for someone who is used to only using a desktop in her parent’s living room this is phenomenal.

There are school and money things going on, but I’ll save that talk for next week. With two exams on Friday I am keeping a low profile about all that.

Question - I am losing a lot of hair. Like a lot of hair. Now I have thick hair to begin with so right now it’s not a huge problem, but it’s enough that I am worrying about it. Could this be because I’m getting older? Should I be concerned?

I guess I’m going to go before I get back into my funk. Every once in a while I begin to think getting taken off anti-depressants was a really terrible idea.

Title: “Eulogy” by The Hereafter

September 17, 2007

Nothing has changed from last weeks situation except that I owe $720 for that woman’s car I hit instead of the oh…$75 I thought it would be. It’s a small dent and a scratch! All I need is a plunger and a bottle of black paint from the Wal*Mart and I could fix it myself!

I’m not here to complain though. I am here to mention that it is Monday in between my lab and my bio class and I am not hiding in my car. No! Unlike last week I am choosing to spend my 3 hour break in doors. I am currently in some sort of study lounge where I have gained access to the schools free wifi. It’s quiet in here and I am sipping echinachea tea whilst directly in front of a sign that says NO FOOD OR BEVERAGE. Yes. I am a tea drinking rebel.

If you are going to school and completely broke I want to recommend a lunch to you. Buy a box of tea bags somewhere cheap and keep a few in your bag. Then go to the school store and get a cup of hot water for $.15 and a Little Debbie granola bar for $.25. You have yourself a tasty lunch for just $.40! That has been my staple school lunch.

I have to pee right now and I keep debating between packing up all my things and bringing them with me or trusting that I can leave my things here for about five minutes. I mean there is only one way out of this room and I really don’t see someone grabbing all my belongings and attempting to make a run for it. However I would feel really foolish if they did.

It’s nice and fallish outside. I was chilly so I wore tights and a sweater today, but I think I would have been better off with a real sweater. This 3/4 length sleeved cardigan isn’t really cutting it.

I also forgot my cord to plug in my computer so the screen is rather dark. Something to remember for next week.

[Ed. note - Kasey ended up surprising me at school and taking me to White Castle to lunch so I didn’t post this when I wrote it.]

September 19, 2007

So I am generally not thinking about money issues and this past weekend I had a mini breakdown when I got two quiz grades from Biology back and I got a 72% on one and a 50% on the other after studying like crazy. So I put in extra effort and worked really hard and I ended up getting a 90% on the next two quizzes! I was also one of the only ones in my Women & Politics class to get an A on the paper! I was floored and also thrilled. It feels so good to do something right after being so worried that I was going to ruin everything. I just have to keep putting in as much work and effort as possible to keep getting good grades.

Kasey also surprised me last night with a visit and presents as a congratulations for my grades! She got me an agenda planner (s0 needed), mini sharpie markers, a card and The Chipmunk Adventure on DVD. Woo! I can’t wait for us to watch it. She’s NEVER seen it!! I have another copy, but it’s burned and I got it off of Ebay. It doesn’t work too well.

I am dying to get out for a drive. I am dying to go to an orchard and pick apples. I hope I get to experience the Autumn. I think it’s my favorite time of year.

Title : “The Little Things” by Colbie Caillat

Lately money has been on my mind a lot. It’s interesting how you can be going along fine and then suddenly you are a few grand in debt.

So I didn’t get enough aid to cover school. Which, you know, was fine. I found out I was accepted to the school later than everyone else so I wasn’t able to put my FAFSA in by the deadline. I applied for another loan, supposedly got it and everything was going to be fine. I would have to pay it back after school, but that is to be expected. I would also be getting about $1,000 back. I would be using this towards books and also a few other bills I have. (I had some summer expenses put on my credit card and there was that incident with hitting the woman’s car last week.)

I went to the office to collect the check at the appropriate time to find out not only was there not a check for me. I owe them $1,000. So I don’t know what happened there…we’re still looking into it. Hopefully I won’t have to pull out of school.

In any case I owe them that money and without the money I thought I would be getting back I also owe to repair that car, the textbooks, my credit card payment and my car is also in the shop today getting $500 worth of work done so it can pass inspection. Oh and I make about $175 less per week now that I’m in school.

I’m not going through a good time right now.

I’m also confused about Biology and I still hadn’t heard from the tutoring center as of yesterday so I went over there to see what was going on. Apparently they didn’t even put my application into the system until Monday even though I turned it in two weeks ago! So I am still far down on the list to get assigned a tutor. I’m really worried that I am going to be really behind by then.

I don’t know if this was such a good idea. Maybe everyone was right. Maybe I’m not college material. I want so much to prove them wrong, to prove how I used to think of myself wrong. I just don’t know.

I also had an emotional freak-out on my parents the other day which ended in me crying hysterically. I’m so emotional anyway that I don’t think I am dealing with all these added stresses well.

I’m also pretty lonely at school these days and I feel bad that Kasey has to be there for me so much. The other day (Monday) I had a three hour break and I just kept seeing people who now no longer talk to me after my break-up. I ended up going to my car and spending the entire break there. Then it occurred to me that was much like Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls when she ate her lunch in the bathroom because she didn’t know where to sit. I’m not supposed to be that person. I know that I need to be more outgoing and talk to people. It’s just with everything I’m feeling and thinking about I’m not really up for it.

I have a paper due for Women & Politics due on Friday and I have to get working on that. Hopefully I’ll get going on it tonight.

Kasey has been really amazing through me going a little crazy. Yesterday she surprised my by showing up outside my last class after it was over and she got me season 3 of Grey’s Anatomy, a gift card to The Body Shop, a gift bag from there, 2 larger painting canvases and 2 sets of oil paints! It was all completely unexpected. It made me so happy and tonight (maybe when I take a break from the paper) I will watch some Grey’s and paint.

I really hope the money issues get resolved or I’m not going to be able to deal. Everything else was stressing me out before this. I’m getting to my breaking point.

Sorry to be so moody. Hopefully I’ll have good news for next week.

Title: “Fall Apart Again” by Brandi Carlile

School is about the same. I spent hours and hours studying Biology and then we started a new chapter and I am back to not knowing what the heck is going on.

Friday was kind of blah for me and I knew I wouldn’t be seeing Kasey* so I decided to stop and get myself some yummy sushi to go to have for dinner. I paid and since it wouldn’t be ready for a bit I decided to get some gas. I left my nice parking spot and went across the parking lot to the gas station. I pumped my gas and went back to the now crowded parking lot. I found a spot next to a black car. I tried to pull in, but I was cutting too close. I went to back up and pull in, but there was a car behind me. I was also itching my leg as I pulled in and wearing my glasses which I usually don’t do. This all lead up to me hitting the car next to me. When I realized I did it I sat there for a moment and I will be honest. I thought about just moving to another space. As I was thinking about this I noticed the owner of the car standing outside my window. So I had to suck it up and deal with the consequences of my stupidity.

The woman didn’t want to go through insurance, but she did call a police officer to make a formal report. I was terrified at that point that the officer would notice my car was uninspected and I would be in huge trouble, but he didn’t. We traded information and she is going to call me after she gets the car looked at to let me know how much I owe her. Luckily it’s only a scratch and a small dent. My fingers are crossed that it won’t be too expensive.

Then I picked up my sushi and went home.

That night I ended up staying over at Kasey’s house because the next day we were doing to a wine festival in New Jersey. We got on the road around 10 am and we got there right on time. It was in the cutest little historical town. We tried a bunch of wines and had some delicious kabobs. It was only 1:00 pm when we were done so we decided to head somewhere else. I was thrilled we got there when we did because when we were leaving the lines coming in were ridiculous.

While leaving we got to hear an elderly parking assistant loose his shit with cars parking in the (unmarked) handicapped section. He actually began screaming curses to the people in the cars. He was crazy!

Instead of heading towards home we decided to keep following the road and see where we ended up. We passes Seaside Heights and thought about stopping there, but we kept going. In a short while we ended up in Atlantic City!

We parked our car at the Tropicana and looked around a bit. It was so gorgeous. I wish I had thought to take photos of the beginning of our trip.

We ate at a place called Corky’s that loves BBQ sauce. I ordered a burger, but I also got wings as an appetizer. That wasn’t a good choice on my part. I should have just gotten wings and fries because once I ate the wings I wasn’t hungry for my burger so I ended up taking that to go.

We went back to the car to put the food in and grab a few things and then we headed down the boardwalk. We went into a cute candy store called It’s Sugar and got some candies. We also stopped by one of the little souvenir shops and bought a blanket to lay on on the beach.

It was getting a little towards the late side and the sky was beautiful. I would love to see a sunset from the West Coast. It must be beautiful. It’s not bad from our side either.

We stayed on the beach for a while and then we headed back into the Tropicana to get our car and head home. We briefly thought about seeing an IMAX movie, but we would have gotten home so late.

A little ways into our trip home I started getting hungry and Kasey was getting tired. We stopped off at one exit randomly and we noticed a group of hotels. We decided to see what the prices were…you know, just for fun. They ranged from $71 to $100 a night. We went to White Castle, picked up some food and were prepared to go home when we decided what the hell. Let’s spend the night here. We checked in and got our room at the cheapest one and it was actually really nice.

We had a really nice night there and it was good to relax after our busy day before heading home.

We made a few stops on the way back home and just had a really good time in general. It was one of the best weekends ever. I was sad to see it end.

*If you’re wondering who this person is you missed an entry. You can email me [sparkliesunshine] [@] [hotmail] [.] [com] for clarification. Thanks! (You can also leave a question in the comment section and I’ll answer it via email.)