Boy does that feel true today.

Do any of you remember my life a year ago today? Let me refresh your memory.* Oh yes. It has been one year since my big break-up/pseudo divorce. Probably the only time in my life I have been thankful that gays cannot get legally married because this would have made for one deeply messy divorce.

A year ago today I was standing outside shoeless with a broken cell phone trying to get back into my office. Oh what fond memories I am having. I wanted to write a little something to acknowledge that this time has passed.

I feel like I am a different person than I was then. I read those entries and I feel like I would never let someone treat me that way now. I feel happier.

Before I felt like I was a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. I don’t feel that way anymore. I don’t feel like I am trying to be someone that I am not. My life feels so good right now. I am doing well in college, in a healthy relationship and doing the things that make me happy.

I have had several epiphanies about things that I have been a little blue about this year and those epiphanies have left me feeling so much better. I was really down about all the friends I have lost through all of this and (this might sound cocky) I don’t feel down about it anymore. I am an excellent friend to have. I am caring and thoughtful of my friends in a way that isn’t forced or phony. I genuinely care about them and their feelings. I am the sort of friend that will see something that reminds me of you and I’ll buy it regardless of when your birthday is and I don’t want anything in return. So…I am not going to stress about this anymore. I know that I will make more friends soon in college and at various things I attend. I also have made new friends with some of Kasey’s friends and they are sweet and wonderful. I’m doing great. I’m feeling great.

Tomorrow it will be one year since my 6 and a half year relationship ended. To commemorate/celebrate Kasey and I are going to Atlantic City to see Kathy Griffin with tickets we got on the cheap from eBay. Woo!

I also just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been with me this past year. You’re all so sweet and you mean so much to me. You really make blogging awesome.

* I made a new page about my protected entries for new readers. You can check that out here if you are interested.

You could also say I torture you by making you listen to the sound of my voice when I talk to my bunnies.

I actually want to do a weekly bunny post just so I can talk about them for one day a week and show you new videos/pictures on them. Maybe this will be the first one of those. It could be Rabbit Wednesdays! I could be starting something new and here you are witnessing the very first event. It’s historical almost! No? Not quite? I should shut up and show you the darn video? Damn…I didn’t know you could ice me like that. Fine then, here it is:

What is that you say? You enjoyed the cuteness of my rabbits? You wish you could see more of Tula only without hearing me talk?

Well, my lovely reader I care about you and I listen to what you have to say. Here is a video of Tula narrated (mostly) by Kasey.

Okay so I gush in the background of that one too. Sorry!

Need to use up about 15 minutes and also get the chance to win a $25 gift certificate? Check out Archives of Our Lives where she asks you to create something humorous from those damn letter combinations some sites use to keep spammers away.

The contest ends tonight so if you are interested head over there ASAP.

…and now back to our regularly scheduled blog!

I lose things a lot. In the long list of things I have lost over the course of my life my Tiffany necklace shows up repeatedly. I don’t know why I have such disdain for the things I adore that I would consistently lose track of them. I used to say I was thankful my car is so large that I couldn’t lose it, but then there was that time I completely forgot whose house I left it at. So for the second time since I gleefully purchased it on my 21st birthday I lost my Tiffany Starfish necklace*.

The first time I lost it I had a sort of Carrie moment. Remember (if you watched it) when Carrie was with the Russian and she found her Carrie necklace in her purse, it has gotten stuck behind the ripped silk? Well when I was moving out after my break-up and getting settled in my parent’s house I found my necklace! It was behind somethings on my TV stand. I have no idea how it got there. Finding it gave me back my sense of self and made me feel like everything would be alright.

This time I was cleaning out my car and I found it loose in a box full of random crap. I can’t believe even after losing it before I was so careless with it. Never again. This is one of my most prized possessions and from now on I am going to make sure I treat it as such.

Weird that I found it almost exactly a year later from when I found it the first time. I think I find it when I need it the most as corny and stupid as that sounds.

It’s once again gracing my neck where it belongs.

* Holy crap. The price on this has gone up a lot in 3 years! I bought this for $295 which is still a lot, but it is $375 now. Yeah…it wouldn’t be mine if it has cost that much then.

I have spent a few hours looking at pictures of curvy girls looking amazing in dresses. Amazing! I have been wearing a much joked about “uniform” of blue jean skirt with top since 2004, for reals. I buy many other items of clothing, but I hate feeling uncomfortable in my clothing and most other items I own make me feel uncomfortable.

I have to figure out a way to change this. Perhaps have a massive wardrobe sale on eBay?

I mean look at this woman. Does she not look amazingly cute in her dresses and cardigans? Man. I think it gets my attention because she dresses in EXACTLY my style and she looks pulled together and gorgeous.

I usually feel like Toula from My Big Fat Greek Wedding before the make-over. I’m frump girl. Don’t tell Kasey I said that either because she always thinks I look well dressed and beautiful and while I love her for that I feel like I should be doing better.

My wardrobe gets the crap worn out of it. I have about 7 of the same exact ill-fitting horizontal striped shirts in different colors. I just need something different. I need a change and I’m not sure how to get there.

This has been a pretty dark year for me. I am happy, but some things have weighted on me and I am not the giddy person I used to be.

I really want to get back there. I think better clothing and more self-confidence will help get me there.

And also perhaps more sleep. I haven’t gone to sleep before 1:00 am any night this week and I have to be to work at 9. This doesn’t lead to a happy, shiny demeanor for me at work.

So that is one of my new goals. To create a new wardrobe for myself with no money and absolutely no sewing talent. This should be fun!

I totally loved this. Sometimes as confident as I try to be I don’t feel comfortable with my body and that discomfort keeps me from doing a lot. Lately I have found some fat positive sites and they have really been making me feel good.

Just a note this isn’t a video that skinny bashes. You guys know I am totally against that. It just disputes things people believe about fat people and things fat people start to believe about themselves. And it’s got some humor!

The entire 13 days I was seriously healing from the removal of my birthmark I could only where one bra strap up. Now I have never been a woman with perky breasts. In fact, I believe they were perky for about a month when I was 15. Then they began their decline and have been a tad (well…considerably) droopy since then. I have pretty small breasts so it usually doesn’t bother me and push-up bras are a delight.

Only having the support of one side of my push-up while the other was left to survive on it’s own was quite the spectacle. I really wish I has a picture for you of what this severe lopsidedness for your entertainment and amusement. I was reminded of the quote from Waitress when Becky says, “If you haven’t noticed, my right boob is way up here in Maine and my left boob is danglin’ down here in Florida.” Except mine was for real and very noticeable.

Thankfully it is healed enough that I can journey through the world once more with both bra straps up and my breasts greeting the world with a united front.

I do the Color Me Happy Swaparooni and the April/May theme was Organization. I was matched with alure7 she totally picked up on my going green theme and she bought me 2 awesome notebooks, a journal, a 3 ring binder and a list pad. I love it all! I am so excited to use everything.

I have been wanting this stuff for the longest, but I haven’t given in and gotten it for myself.

I also totally posed that picture. In the description I make it sound like she wandered over there herself, but I put her there and took the picture before she quickly hopped away.

Disclaimer: This post shows some images of stitches and my skin post stitches. If you watch Grey’s Anatomy or CSI you can so handle it.

It’s been 12 days since I got my birthmark removed. I still have to care for the area daily and it doesn’t look normal. I guess it will take a long time to scar. I think it will be so weird to see my skin healed with no birthmark there. It might seem stupid, but it felt like such a part of me.

Here is a picture of what used to be on my back:

Yeah…pretty big…and pretty ugly. So it’s not exactly a loss. It was just part of my body that I came to terms with long ago.

So after 45 minutes they removed it and left me with a bunch of ugly uncomfortable stitches. Poor Kasey had to clean them twice a day and cover them in Vaseline. For being Frankensteinesque they still looked pretty clean and healthy.

The doctor even said they looked great and that I (meaning Kasey) did a superb job of taking care it. I totally agree.

I got the call last week about the results of the biopsy and it was totally CLEAN. That was a relief. I mean, there is always that feeling like it might be something more. It’s great knowing that it’s fine and even better knowing I’ll never have to worry about it again.

Monday morning I went into the doctor’s office to have the stitches removed. It wasn’t awful like I thought it would be, but still quite uncomfortable. Now it just needs to be massaged twice a day with Vaseline and I feel better keeping a bandage on it still. I have these crazy fears of it splitting open now that the stitches aren’t in anymore. Yeah…I tend to be a bit of a hypocondriac. I’m dealing with it!

See the way it pulls up unnaturally at the ends? I hate that. I can’t wait till that goes away.

Next up? A trip to the OB/GYN next month. Hoorah!