Disclaimer: This post shows some images of stitches and my skin post stitches. If you watch Grey’s Anatomy or CSI you can so handle it.

It’s been 12 days since I got my birthmark removed. I still have to care for the area daily and it doesn’t look normal. I guess it will take a long time to scar. I think it will be so weird to see my skin healed with no birthmark there. It might seem stupid, but it felt like such a part of me.

Here is a picture of what used to be on my back:

Yeah…pretty big…and pretty ugly. So it’s not exactly a loss. It was just part of my body that I came to terms with long ago.

So after 45 minutes they removed it and left me with a bunch of ugly uncomfortable stitches. Poor Kasey had to clean them twice a day and cover them in Vaseline. For being Frankensteinesque they still looked pretty clean and healthy.

The doctor even said they looked great and that I (meaning Kasey) did a superb job of taking care it. I totally agree.

I got the call last week about the results of the biopsy and it was totally CLEAN. That was a relief. I mean, there is always that feeling like it might be something more. It’s great knowing that it’s fine and even better knowing I’ll never have to worry about it again.

Monday morning I went into the doctor’s office to have the stitches removed. It wasn’t awful like I thought it would be, but still quite uncomfortable. Now it just needs to be massaged twice a day with Vaseline and I feel better keeping a bandage on it still. I have these crazy fears of it splitting open now that the stitches aren’t in anymore. Yeah…I tend to be a bit of a hypocondriac. I’m dealing with it!

See the way it pulls up unnaturally at the ends? I hate that. I can’t wait till that goes away.

Next up? A trip to the OB/GYN next month. Hoorah!

I had minor surgery today to remove a birthmark and it totally sucked. It was done because my doctor thought it looked a little suspicious so she set me an appointment at a dermatologist. I suspected that she would look at it tell me it was fine, but to keep an eye on it. Nope. She called in another doctor to look at it and he saw some discoloration and the edges were pretty blotchy. So they recommended that I get it biopsied; however due to the size of it and the varying areas they would have to take several samples and even if it did come out clean she still recommended I get it taken off to avoid future problems. They decided it would most likely be better if I just got the whole thing removed so I could be done with it.

This morning at 9:00 am Kasey took me to the office to get the procedure done. It was awful. I don’t do well with needles and they must have given me about 9 shots in the area to numb it. Then I was awake and fully aware for the 45 minutes it took them to do it. I realize that I couldn’t feel pain, but I could feel the skin pulling and stretching. I could hear the sounds of the equipment they were using…I wanted to be anywhere else.

The worst part, for me, was the stitches. It took them 20 minutes just to do the stitches! I know this because I was directly facing a clock. I guess they had to put some interior stitches in and then 11 (or so they tell me) exterior stitches that I need to go back in 11 days to have removed.

I haven’t seen it yet because I have to keep the bandages on for 24 hours. The birthmark was on my right shoulder so every time I move my arm (and even when I type like this) it hurts. It also doesn’t seem to give a damn about the painkillers I have been taking.

I took a picture of the birthmark before, but I think I will save that for the big reveal after this heals so you can see my brand new lovely scar! Hooray for modern science!

It is odd knowing that a part of me I have had (and had to explain to others constantly) is gone. Apparently it freaked Kasey out a little so I suppose it is all for the best.

For now I am in pain and wishing I wasn’t such a right side sleeper. Hopefully I will be able to fall to sleep tonight on my left side and stay like that.

Oh, they are sending it out for a biopsy, but I have no doubt that will come back nice and clean. The doctor said that even though it has some characteristics that make them feel it should come off and be tested it is mostly a precaution. The fact that it had hair on it, for example, shows it is probably benign. So no worries.

Okay…yesterday’s entry was a total cop out entry, but at least I had something posted by midnight. Truth is when it comes to posting a blog or having sex I am going to choose sex every time.

Now to more pressing matters! I wanted to stop using deodorants that have aluminum in them because I have heard that there are various health risks involved in using them. For those like myself who are nervous about normal medicine risks this is a problem.

Armed with info and already in love with a store that sells more natural body products I went off in search of a safe alternative. First I bought the Aromacreme, but then I read scary reviews about people getting rashes so I set that one aside and bought a different one. This time going with T’eo. At first it went great! Super! I loved my new natural deodorant. It kept me smelling nice all day and I had no side effects. I was happy. Plus the bar was expected to last an entire year. A year! That would mean spending only $9 a year for deodorant. Perfection. I could not have been more pleased.

Then about 3 weeks into use my arm pits started to hurt. I assumed it was because the bar is hard and was scraping my skin a bit at application. I didn’t think much of it. I continued use and didn’t pay much attention. Flash to 4 days ago when I looked in the bathroom mirror after taking my shower. My arm pits were flaming red! I went into the bedroom and showed Kasey and she was shocked. We decided I had to stop using the deodorant right away. I stopped using any deodorant at that time to let them heal and I also started to apply a lavender and chamomile cream to help soothe the skin. Yesterday we took pictures to help show you what I am talking about. Please keep in mind these pictures were taken 3 days after I stopped using the deodorant so they are about 4 shades lighter than in the original.

Pretty right? I am so glad Kasey and I have been together for such a long time that she wouldn’t be grossed out by this.

I am going to continue to put cremes on this to heal it, but I have also been thinking about going to the doctor because it does still hurt. I’ll keep you posted.

I am a little under the weather right now. I have been taking medication. (actual medication, not just my herbal teas for those of you who wish to know) Kasey has been forcing me too. I believe she may be trying to drug me and no one seems to care. I think I am on the mend though. That Airborne stuff is nasty, but it does seem to work. Plus I love seeing things bubble and fizz.

It’s almost March! Where, if you recall, I am going to try once again to post every single day for a month. With no motivation! It is actually something I am looking forward to. These challenges often give me inspiration to write about things I usually sweep under the rug and also delve deeper into other topics.

Kasey is (hopefully) going to guest blog in March too! I already created an author account for her in anticipation.

There are topics that I no longer wish to sweep under the rug that I will be discussing in probably multiple entires. I would also appreciate Kasey’s point of view on these also and that is why she might be quest posting. It should be really good.

I am looking forward to talking about other things too.

Here is a little clip from a recent conversation with me mother:

Mom: We’ll I don’t know if I am ever going to have grandchildren from the way things are going.
ME: Well don’t look at me I’m too young.
Mom: You’re not too young you’re just not in a relationship.
ME: Stunned silence
Mom: And I don’t know if you ever will be.
ME: Not that kind of relationship.

I was pretty much in shock for the rest of the car ride and she proceeded to try and make small talk with me.

This was about a week ago and I am still so mad about it. Is there any way I could have possibly handled this graciously? I mean…Kasey and I are living in her house right now so I guess we just have to grin and bear it until we get our own place.

I’m pretty excited about tomorrow and actually having time to do my post.

Today my cousin and I had a scary movie night today in honor of Halloween. We watched The Skeleton Key and Saw. Both were interesting. I don’t think I am a fan of the Saw movies. I’m pretty sure I won’t be watching the other ones. It was my second time watching The Skeleton Key and it was still really creepy. I wouldn’t watch it again, but I though my cousin would enjoy it. She did.

I’m still feeling really sick. I have cough drops, echinachea tea, Mucinex, and Theraflu. Something has to work.

Right now I am watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

Day one and I almost missed it already. Yeah…We’ll totally see how it goes this year. Though I do have some great blog ideas and so many things I want to talk to you about. It’s just I am so used to having time. I am used to about 40 hours a week where I sit and chat with you and find out about your lives and you find out about mine. Now I have a lot less than that and during those less hours I have all this new stuff I should be doing.

Also dating is a lot different than being settled down and it take a lot of time this dating. It’s unfamiliar.

You know what I forgot to mention? The reason for the stomach sickness? I seem to have developed lactose intolerance. It’s not that surprising since my dad, aunt and sister all developed it when they were around my age. Fun. I’m more glad we figured out what has been making me so sick. I don’t think that explains the hair falling out, but the vitamins are helping a bit with that…I think. Time will tell.

The past few days I have had a sore throat, but Halls and tea are medicating all that.

I really need a new digital camera…I guess if all else fails I will have one by Christmas.

Okay…back to my homework. I have a bunch of work to do for Women’s Studies and a report on Mali to start for Women & Politics. Have you ever heard of Mali? Me either.

Title: “Better Already” by Northern State

I don’t know if any of you have noticed this, but I am not a small person by any means. I am actually a quite large person. I have been since about the 3rd grade. It’s not new to me. I am by definition fat. Don’t worry. You don’t have to tell me that I am not and this post is my no means about my self loathing. This all may be fueled by the fact that I went to see Jean Kilbourne speak last night, or the fact that I just finished up with The Vagina Monologues where in some of the performers were talking negatively about their bodies. It could also be the fact that I was thinking about going to Subway for lunch and I have a Subway related story to share.

I have so much to say about this topic that I feel like I could write a book. It’s so complex this issue we all have with our bodies. I don’t mean just women either. It’s an issue we all seem to share at one point or another.

The program I went to see featuring Jean Kilbourne was good, but mostly things I have already heard. I think it would have been interesting if they were able to do a series of lectures so we could delve deeper into the issue. The Mrs. did buy me her latest book so I am looking forward to reading that and seeing if it goes a lot more into detail.

People talking negatively about their bodies have always really bothered me. I try not to do so as much as possible and I really take notice of what other people say about their own bodies. While I was doing The Vagina Monologues I heard many of the girls doing the play saying negative things about the way they look and to me it just misses a whole part of what the play is about. I also think that many times girls will say negative things about their bodies to me so that they feel like we can relate. Women who don’t hate their bodies are looked down upon, picked apart and people assume that they are stuck up. Perhaps that is why women who are classically beautiful continue to pick themselves apart. Because they feel like they have to. I never know how to react when someone tries to connect with me in this way. Saying things like, “God I feel so fat today. You know what I mean?” Uhh… Being that I am fat I guess so? It’s just odd.

I was at Subway one time getting sandwiches for my coworkers to eat for lunch and I was behind a very thin antsy woman. She turned to look at me as I got in line behind her, looked my up and down and frowned. Ok. Whatever, bitch. I tend to be unapproachable in public because I despise small talk so I just lightly glared at her and she went back to facing ahead. Once we got to the section to order she ordered a 6” chicken teriyaki sandwich on wheat. She began a light commentary the whole time she was ordering about how she did NOT want cheese. It’s full of FAT!! She also wanted five black olives at most because they are such a fatty food and so bad for you! Vinegar! No oil! Guess what oil has? Ahh!! Can I mention she sort of aimed these comments at me as well as the sandwich maker? Yeah. So she finally finishes (No chips!! Just WATER! (She spoke in exclamations.)) And the sandwich maker comes back to me and we share a moment while rolling our eyes.

At first I just felt bad for this crazy woman, but this incident has always stuck with me for some reason. I guess it is just the way she picked me out and felt she could give me diet advice based solely on the way I look without us even knowing each other. I’m at the flippin’ Subway for Christ’s sake lady. Why don’t you hand out pamphlets at the McDonald’s if you care so much? Are you afraid to breathe in the FAT?

Another thing I have never understood is this (apparent) mass of women who are emotional eaters. Now, I have no doubts that this exists. It just seems a bit fishy to me whenever those women on weight loss commercials blame their weight on the fact that they viewed food as their friend. I can’t speak for any one except myself, but I have never been an emotional eater. It just seems odd to me that so many people would be saying that because in the period when I was really self loathing and hated my body I viewed food as the enemy and actually did have a borderline eating disorder for a bit. If anyone knew me or saw pictures of me when I was 15/16 years old I was actually about 80 – 100 lbs smaller than I am now, but I was so sick. The funny thing is when I was at my sickest is when the most people told me I looked great. It’s interesting in that way. I just haven’t been the type to take comfort in food. Don’t think that means I know what it’s like to be small either. Even at my lowest weight (156?) I was still in plus size bottoms due to my hips and pelvis.

Where I am right now I am at probably the highest weight I have ever been in my life and yet somehow I am still able to feel good about myself. I’m not perfect. I don’t even wear jeans because they either give me a “muffin-top” or are way to loose on my thighs and ass. Perhaps I should embrace even that about myself and just go out like that anyway, but as I said I am not perfect. There are things about myself that I think would be nicer if they were different. I also wear tights all the time when I wear skirts and I didn’t even wear skirt until I was 16 years old and discovered this type of super opaque black tights. They only come in black too so even though brown is a great color on me I pretty much rule it out of my wardrobe. I have gotten better over the years and I ditch the tights on super hot days during the summer. Still they are a wardrobe staple of mine. Another new wardrobe staple of mine? I call them spanx, but they aren’t really spanx. They are slimmers and I use them to control my top tummy. I think due to the fact that when I was younger I wore super tight pants my upper stomach above my belly button is my biggest point. It’s pretty embarrassing to me so I try to keep it under wraps as much as possible. I even had a dream once that I had a tummy tuck to get rid of it. So that is my confession. I do wear certain things and not wear certain things based on my body and my comfort level.

I know that at some point I have written about the sense of comfort I have with my body. I do use my size as a sort of “asshole detector”. It’s nice to know that I don’t have to worry about random people hitting on me because they think I’m hot and don’t care what I think or feel. I like knowing that people who express interest in me are sincere. I like knowing that my friends aren’t friends with me for any reason other than we get along. I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with so much of that. It actually makes me a bit scared to ever loose weight. I’m scared people may stop seeing me for me. I may just be the only person who enjoys being treated badly due to their weight. I just really don’t trust people and I love that I have that instant weight factor that gets rid of some people that are total jerks and I may never have know that before.

A few people (Yes, not just one) have told me that if they were my size or over weight in general they would kill themselves. Now a part of me is sad they may be over weight because surely it would spare the world a bit. I guess this should be such a huge insult to me. I mean goodness. I look so terrible that this person would rather be dead than be me? Really though it just makes me feel bad for them. Being overweight is no walk in the park. I don’t do many things now that I might try if I were smaller (smaller, not skinny) such as skiing and I can’t just go shopping anywhere I would like. (In fact it’s pretty much Gap and Old Navy for me) Are losing those things worth losing my life? No. Why? That is because there are so many wonderful things about life. My body is not my life. It’s the lovely vessel that takes me through it.

I took a few pictures of myself in the bathroom of work so you can at least see my from front back and side from a little below the waist up. Please keep in mind I am wearing my trusty tights and spanx so even this isn’t a fully accurate portrayal.

There are tons of things I love about my body. I mentioned my dislike of my stomach and to be fair we can add legs to that. There are so many more things I love. I love my eyes and the way they sparkle sometimes and my nose and the way it always seems to crinkle when I make an expression. I always seem to love my arms even though they are big and have a few white stretch marks, they are also flabby and my underarm shakes when I wave, but I love them. I love my hands and the way they look when they are clicking against my computer. Let’s not leave out my breasts. They could be more perky (they were for a day when I was 15 I believe) but they are perfect for me and they fill out my tops nicely. I like my back and the way it feels when someone scratches it lightly. I love many things about this body of mine. Even if it is big.

The thing I don’t understand or can’t understand is why if me exactly the way I am now can be so okay with my body how it is possible that so many other people can’t see themselves that way. I guess it becomes so easy to get sucked into the vacuum of feeling like you should look a certain way or no one will love you. I think that is ridiculous. The only people who won’t love you are people who don’t want in your life anyway.

Perfection is something I don’t see as real and something I also don’t want for myself or the people I love. It’s in all the imperfections that I think true beauty lies.

I hope you’re able to look into a mirror at some point and really see yourself. Don’t see what society tells you should be fixed or what you think other people have better. Really see yourself. Smile at yourself. I’m not kidding. It may seem dumb and you may feel silly, but you (yes you) are beautiful exactly as you are; even if you don’t change a thing.

Guys!

I am back to you from a crazy mad week.

The party? It was ehh. I was there from 12:30 p.m. to 8:45 p.m. It was a supremely redneck bar. I could have easily been in Alabama. The hostess was already tipsy when we arrived and sans underwear of any kind. The whole party took in $1,000 in sales, which is my biggest party to date, but not awesome. It just took so much time and effort and 3 helpers who I could not have survived without. It wasn’t at all what I had expected and I was really hoping to be able to compensate my girls a lot for all their time and hard work. The hostess is also talking about having another party in a few months and I don’t know what to do about that. She did say she is going to have another $1,000 in outside orders for me by March 18th so we’ll see if that happens. It would be amazing if it did. Perhaps I can offer her an extra incentive for that.

The Sunday of that party I also developed a yeast infection. I didn’t realize what it was at first and if I wasn’t monogamous with The Mrs. I would have thought it was some sort of nasty VD. So The Mrs., (god love her) checked it out for me and it was indeed a yeast infection. Great. I avoided getting medication for it until Tuesday when I nearly died of discomfort. I was very snappy all day and just pissed. I worked up the will to call the doctor’s office, a feat all in itself. I have phone issues to begin with and we all know about my anxiety so discussing my vagina issues over the phone with a doctor I have met twice is not on my list of easy tasks.

When I did call I let her know. She said she was sure it was a yeast infection due to the harse antibiotics I am still on so she said she would call me in a prescription to Wal-Mart. I had to wait until The Mrs. got home from work at 7pm so she could take me to pick it up. You know, for as much as I hate Wal-Mart I love their prescription plan. All generics are $4. So my pill cost $4 and was supposed to work in 24 hours. That was Tuesday night and I don’t feel 100% better yet, but it is miles away from where I was.

Last night I went to the bar with Kasey and The Mrs. and we had many drinks. We have been going out on Mondays and Wednesdays lately and it has been fantastic. I really love spending time with Kasey and it’s good for The Mrs. and I to get out and mingle with actual people and when I say The Mrs. and I, I really mean me. It’s been great! My main problem is keeping my flirtiness in check. When I drink I get really lovey. Since The Mrs. is in the closet and people from her work go to that bar I can’t flirt with her at all. I can, however flirt with Kasey and believe me I do. Yesterday both she and I had been drinking so we were both being lovey and it’s just a little crazy. I don’t want her to get nervous though because she and The Mrs. are such good friends and I don’t want to mess that up with my insanity. It was wonderful though. I love being flirted with. Especially when I am in a room of tiny college girls with perky breasts and someone chooses to put their arms around me. Thanks guys, you have no idea how much I needed that.

The Mrs. and I are going on vacation this weekend!! It is going to be a mini vacation to Lancaster, PA. We are going to be staying at the resort my parents have been taking me to since I was 10 days old. They have been going there for over 30 years, when my sister was a baby. I can’t wait! We are leaving Saturday and coming home Tuesday. My parents got The Mrs. and I a gift certificate for Christmas. We recently decided to be responsible and instead of saving for Disney we are saving for a home. As soon as I am able to I am going to be opening a joint money market account for us. That means this trip to Lancaster is going to be our last vacation for a while. I really can not wait. We may or may not be bringing some things with us from here, that I have not seen since I packed them to move almost two years ago. There is WiFi in the hotel room so I will be posting and uploading pictures (finally) to my Flickr account.

In other news I want to buy myself a Superhero necklace. I have been wanting one since I read my first SARK book in 2003 and she mentioned that a friend of hers made awesome jewelry. I went online right away to have a look and I fell in love. Madly in love with these necklaces. Then I saw the price and I just couldn’t. Now though, I feel that it would be worth the cost. My current problem is choosing one. There are three that I want Passion, Angel and Joy.

Passion and Angel are both designs I could see myself wearing if/when I get married. I have often thought of having a red, white and pink theme. I also have thought a lot about what I would wear and while I may go traditional white (in which case I would wear the Passion necklace) I may also wear red (in which case I will wear the Angel necklace). So perhaps they would be best saved for that?

I like the colorfulness of the Joy and I think a lot about finding joy, being joyful and adding joy to my life. So perhaps that one would be appropriate. I don’t know. Help me people! What do you guys think?

I’m going to go clean my office because in a drunk dial answering machine message from Kasey I tell her to tell me to do so. Perhaps I will transcribe the message for you guys. It’s pretty wonderful. Look out for that a little later. It’s long so I would want to have speaker phone on so I can type it out and I probably shouldn’t do that at work.

So if you came to my website sometime last week you may have noticed that it was no longer here. Whoops! I had been getting reminders about paying for the renewal, but I have been going through a rough patch money wise so I couldn’t spare the expense. Then when it was down to the last minute to pay I really didn’t have any money. So I let it go and about a week later I arrived to a blank page.

Once that happened I was sad, but I am also having health issues once again so I tried not to think about it. Then I realized that I was not only losing my website I was also losing and entire years worth of entries and that is when I began to feel panicked. I contacted Jessica to ask if she knew how I could get my archives back and the best way seemed to be renewing and hoping they still had my files. The Mrs. had already been trying to get me to put it on her credit card so I finally broke down and let her. So Wednesday night I paid for the site and when I came back into work today my lovely website was just as I left it.

What was that you said about your health? I swear people. I have years of journal entires where I don’t get sick. I’m not usually like this. My newest theory is that once I got health insurance I gave my body permission to feel sick and I relaxed about it and that is when the sickness took over. In any case on Friday of last week I woke up with a sore throat. I assumed it would soon go away and it didn’t. The next morning I woke up with a sore throat and a runny nose. I continued to get sicker until finally on Monday I broke down and made a Doctor’s appointment for Tuesday morning. I went to my cousin’s house to do a Body Shop party and my face was pretty raw from blowing my nose. Not pretty. Then afterwards I wanted to keep my plans and go to the bar with The Mrs. and Kasey. We got there around 11 and left at 11:45. I was feeling so crappy. I barely enjoyed the hot wings and I kept having to blow my nose.

On Tuesday I went to the appointment and the it was found that I have a really bad sinus infection. As a matter of fact it is the same sinus infection I have had since October that I was treated for in January. I noticed I didn’t feel 100% after I finished my medicine last time, but I had no idea the infection was still there. So I am now on a decongestant and an antibiotic. The antibiotic is quite a bit stronger than the last time and I have to take it twice a week for four weeks. I can also not have any chocolate or soda. This is really hard for me. I miss my chocolate & soda. Those were like the two bad for you foods I really loved. So I now have constellation prize vanilla pudding and plenty of water at home.

So I took off work the rest of the day on Tuesday. The Mrs. had driven me to my appointment and she also took me to Wal-Mart to get my medicine. We actually had a lovely day together and she made me feel so much better. I decided to go into work on Wednesday, because I hate taking off of work. However, I would have been much better staying at home because my boss kept calling me into his office and sending me on errands where I fell in some ice in the middle of parking lots. It was a terrible day.

Since Wednesday went so great I decided to stay home on Thursday. I went to my parent’s house so I would get to see my dogs and they could keep my company. I watched crap on TV (Regis & Kelly, Ellen and The View) and on Ellen her guest for the ENTIRE hour was….OPRAH! It could not have gotten any better. My two favorite girls. I am also starting to think I should look into Barak Obama for my presidential pick. I have been kind of hooked on Hillary because I like her and she is a woman and I just think that would be so great, but so many people have great things to say about Obama that I think I should educate myself on everyone.

After those shows I watched Forrest Gump. I hadn’t seen it in years and I just bought it at Target for $10. So that was nice. Then I got in the shower and got dressed because I had an eye doctors appointment scheduled for that night.

If there are any people that wonder how The Mrs. and I can stay together for so long and how I am sure she is the one for me this is an example. She had school in Stroudsburg all day on Thursday and she drove home (about a 30 minute drive) to pick me up to take me back to Stroudsburg for my eye appointment. That makes me fall in love with her all over.

My eye appointment went well and confirmed that I really should be wearing glasses full time. I brought my old frames in to get new lenses and I picked out a pair of simple black metal frames with a couple rhinestones. You can see them here. I was really hoping to get something like this or this, but they didn’t have anything like that there and I’m cool with the ones I chose. They are simple enough and they will go with most anything. I am hoping to get another pair this summer so I will have a variety and I don’t have to wear the same pair all the time. I am planning to get these. They are a little more fancy and I think they would look really good for when I am going out. My current glasses should be here in about a week.

So today I am back to work and ready to go. One of our workers has been out for 3 days in a row so that is putting a damper on things. It means we have to cancel some jobs and guess who gets to do that? Woohoo for being back to work! I have already been yelled at a few times. And people wonder why I like doing the parties so much.

Tomorrow I am going to Wilkes Barre to meet a woman who is leaving The Body Shop. I am going to buy some of her supplies off of her. Then my cousin and I are going to the SPCA to get her a new cat. Her old one died a few weeks ago and she has been really sad about it ever since. So it will be nice. We are in the market for a female short-haired lazy cat that will get along with a rowdy husky. It should be interesting. Plus the people who work at our SPCA pretty much hate people and really give you a hard time adopting animals. We’ll see how that goes.

So that is about everything that is going on right now. I have a huge Body Shop party coming up in a week with about 100 guests for me to stress about. I am sort of in a panic about it, but I am sure it will all work out. I have a week to figure it out. Perhaps I will take Monday or Tuesday night to action plan for it and I will also need to buy supplies.

So you may have noticed the writing on here got very choppy after NaBloPoMo. It wasn’t that the challenge wore me out or that I didn’t have anything of interest to say. I couldn’t get myself to sit down and write. I felt lethargic and listless most of the time. I thought I was sinking back into depression, but when you got down to it I was happy. Yet something just didn’t feel right.

Remember me talking about how even though I just came off of a 3 year streak of not getting sick I kept getting all these sicknesses all of the sudden? It seemed like as soon as I warded off one (with all my crazy holistics) a new one arrived. Well, friends, it seems like I never got rid of the first sickness that began in late October. It just kept getting worse and morphing into new symptoms. This all came to a head on New Years Day. I went to my parent’s house and just felt horrible. I had developed this really mean cough and last Saturday I really noticed that I couldn’t breath right. My breaths felt shallow and I wasn’t able to breath in nice and deep. So on Monday, New Years Day is started to get really bad. I went to my Aunt’s house to have Pork & Sauerkraut for good luck (hooray for being German) and then I went home soon after and lay on the couch. I went home with The Mrs. and tried to go to sleep. We both agreed that I should make a Doctors appointment the next day.

On Tuesday I woke up and went to work feeling worse than ever. I called the doctor and got an appointment for 11:30 am that day. The Mrs. picked me up from work and took me there. I had to answer embarrassing health questions for my insurance and also let them know who the main person on my insurance card is. It’s hard to be discreet when telling the nurse it’s your partner in a room full of locals some who know your family very well.

Finally I was able to go back and I saw Jason the P.A. who was very nice. It turns out I am the first case of the Flu they have seen all season. (Do I get a gold star?) I also have a sinus infection. He said it’s very lucky I came in because it was starting to turn into pneumonia! Pneumonia! People die from pneumonia. He gave me three prescriptions including an inhaler to help me breath. The whole thing including the prescriptions only cost me $57.50 thanks to my new health insurance. It’s so amazing that I have health insurance because if I didn’t I would never have gone to the Doctor and who know what this could have progressed to.

So my and my hippy dippy self are taking actual prescribed medications. Since my body is so unused to meds I think they are kicking my ass more than they would a normal person. My one has Codeine in it which makes me so tired and they all make me feel a bit nauseous.

Wednesday was the worst day for me because I felt the sickest and it was also The Mrs. and my sixth anniversary. I haven’t even given her any gifts yet. She gave me a pink and red silk scarf from Coach with hearts on it and a black leather heart cell phone charm from Coach to hook on the zipper of my coat. I thought that was everything, but she came home from work with a little wooden basket that was white with hearts and it was filled with candy and it had an adorable heart shaped candle in it. I thought that was so sweet. She said she was going to be home late from work because she had to stop for gas, but it was apparently all so she could make me up a basket. It also had a very sweet card and I just started bawling when I read it and saw the little present. That really made me happy.

Thursday I felt a little better and spent the day recovering. Today I feel really good. I still have a terrible couch and my nose is really running, but that is because of the medicine breaking everything up. Hopefully I’ll be back to normal soon. I really feel like I am starting to get back to my old self. I can’t believe I was sick that long without going to a doctor.

Sickness aside I have also been experiencing some of the much talked about “Myspace drama” which I will be getting into later. I also have a new person joining my team today and I am thrilled!! Everything is set to go. I just need to enter her paperwork to make it official. I’ll be working on that today as well as sending out some invitations.