Kasey,

Happy one year anniversary! Can you believe it has been a year already? Where has the time gone? It feels like just a few months ago I was silently freaking out to myself about how I couldn’t possibly be falling for someone so soon. We both agreed that it couldn’t have come at a worse time and there was a lot of talk about how we didn’t want this to be a rebound relationship. I think we make our own rules. There is nothing rebound about our love. It is different from anything I have ever experienced before. I feel like I can finally breath.

Philadelphia - July 2007

I love how much we can joke around with each other. You doing that chicken pecking dance while I do the throwing out the feed dance? You doing your Australian accent while doing your Lesbian Hunter bit? They make my days brighter. In fact, everything about this year has made my world seem brighter. It has, in fact, been the best year of my life so far. I can’t wait to see what next year brings.

Seaside Heights, NJ - August 2007

Atlantic City, NJ - September 2007

I remember last year when you took me to Philadelphia for my birthday and I just couldn’t believe you had put so much thought into it. When you looked into my eyes at Buddakan and we made our relationship official, my heart skipped a beat as it has done many times since then.

Maple Shade, NJ - New Years Eve 2007

There are moments when I wake up in the morning and curl into you and you smile in your sleep and pull me closer that make me feel like this is really what life is supposed to be like. I have always wanted a house to call my own. I have always wanted children. However, in those moments I feel like I could spend my life in a tiny apartment with you and it would feel complete.

Philadelphia - February 2008

Philadelphia - March 2008

May 2008

The times that I feel your love for me most is those times when my anxiety starts to get the best of me. I’ll feel panicked in a store or things will start to be a little too crowded and you take my hand, you make me safe. During our fights when I stop being able to reason and I become overcome with emotion you steady me. You hold me when I cry and never seem tired of it. You wait for me to realize it when I am acting crazy and you are always willing to talk things through with me. Your calmness is catching and I always feel myself relaxing about things around you.

Atlantic City, NJ - June 2008

There might be shows you enjoy that I just don’t understand, such as The Nanny, Avatar and Chuck. However, I know you aren’t crazy about Grey’s Anatomy or Project Runway, but you are right there watching them with me and always ready to tell me what you think.

New York City - June 2008

I could go on and on. Sure you might make me crazy sometimes, but I think I do that to you far more often. You have opened my eyes to so many things and whether we are staying in a suite in Philadelphia or a bad room in Seaside Heights I treasure every moment we spend together. Whenever we are together I feel like I am home.

Philadelphia - July 2008

I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Love,

Angela

Kasey let me open my present last Saturday so I have it all ready to show you!

She got me this:

Oh, I should open it?

Okay!

First up? A card! We’ll read it together!

Everything included:

• $15 iTunes Gift Card - This has been spent on Season 6 Part 2. Very exciting!
• $24 Target Gift Card - Which I just cannot wait to spend.
• Kathy Griffin: For Your Consideration CD - If you like her you will LOVE this CD. So good!
• Coupon for dinner and a movie - I am thinking of using this to see Handcock.
• $50 to use at Duross & Langel on AMAZING body products - I am using this tomorrow!!!!

Today has been a wonderful birthday so far. Tonight is drinks and presents out with my cousin. I can’t wait!

Just in case you were wondering having two bunnies is a lot more work than having one bunny.

Happy Easter!

Kasey and I went the traditional route and gave each other Easter baskets. Curious about our loot?

We sort of used it as an opportunity to give each other stuff we already needed for the room. Romantic, yes? All compliments of Target.

I hope yours was just as good if less practical.

This year was my first year actually doing something on St. Patrick’s Day and I don’t exactly know how I felt about it.

Kasey and I got up early and drove to her friend’s house that a group of us were going to leave from. There were 8 of us all together so it was a nice big group. We drove to Scranton (you know, where The Office is set), parked and walked to where the parade was going on. I was excited to hear that Hillary Clinton was there and it was also nice to see a whole bunch of people with Hillary Clinton stickers and posters because sometimes I feel like I am alone in my love of her. So we walked past the parade and got in line for a bar called Tink’s. A line. For a bar. Called Tink’s. Yeah. So we were in line for about a half an hour maybe more. We finally got to the door and squeezed inside. We had to pay $10 a person just to get in and then Kasey got us 2 beers each at $3 a beer. If it is possible to go through the entire college experience (being someone who drinks) and NOT drink beer I would like to see it. I hate beer and I constantly find myself drinking the stuff either because it is so cheap or in this case it is all that is available.

So we’re in the bar and it is completely packed. You have to sort of tunnel through people and it’s hard to find space to stand let alone move. We finally get to a little clearing with enough room for all of us to stand near each other and move a little to dance. People are bumping into us and other people have to tunnel through every once and again to get to the other side.

Now I have pretty severe anxiety problems so in addition to hanging out with a big group I am with them in a packed bar?! It was crazy. However Kasey is really attentive and I was able to relax and she kept me feeling really calm. I drank my 2 beers and then one of our friends got me another one. I don’t drink to much so pretty quickly I was feeling very relaxed. The more I drink the more personable and happy I get so I was starting to get more outgoing. This guy came into the group and somehow we started talking and I asked him to give me one of his St. Patrick’s Day necklaces. He said he would if I danced with him so he gave it to me and before you knew if we were dancing. (Well dancing like kids these days dance.) Kasey took this picture to share with you guys.

Afterwards he had me feel his ginormous arm muscles and smell his hair. (It smelled good, btw.) So it’s always entertaining. At least I got my beaded necklace!

The main problem came when I had to go to the bathroom. A few of us had to go so we made our way over there…uhh…to the HUGE line. Okay. So we are waiting in this line (I should have taken a picture of this) and we get to what I think is the corner where the door is. Nope! It’s a hallway! With the line continuing down it! By the time we get the the bathroom door and we can see in it the whole group of people around us is cheering people on when they get out of a stall. It would have been more entertaining if I didn’t feel like my bladder was going to burst. After I finally got there used the nasty bathroom and was on my way to the floor I really didn’t want to drink much more because I really didn’t want to have to pee again.

Kasey got me two more beers which I put in my pockets. I drank one and just couldn’t drink another one. I offered the beer to the other girls and they were all winding down too. I tapped some guy on the shoulder and offered it to him. He, of course, gladly accepted. The beer fairy has visited!

We needed some air so out into the streets we went. I was hungry so I got 2 hot dogs from a street vendor that had set up. They were the best damn hot dogs ever, I was so hungry. We stood and ate our food, used the bathrooms and then decided rather than paying another cover charge we went pack into Tink’s to dance a little more before heading out.

Again I ended up having to pee and wait in the dreaded line. This time I noticed that while waiting in the hallway you can see into the Men’s room and also that the urinals were up against the wall right next to the door…yes…I saw more male genitalia then I care to share, but I strangely could not stop myself from looking. I’m being honest!

We left the bar for good and it was still about 5:00 p.m. We were a bit hungry so we went in search of food. Kasey’s friend new this place called The Tipsy Turtle and they are supposed to have really good wings. We decided to check it out. When we get there this guy is standing next to a pit bull and the pit bull isn’t on a leash. Seems strange, but whatever. We get out of the car and go in. Two of the girls go to use the restroom and we look over the menus. Suddenly the waitress announces that to sit and eat there we all need to have ID. Even if we aren’t drinking. Weird, but alright. We get our IDs out. Mine is in the car so after Kasey shows hers we are gong to get mine. Kasey’s license is expired so she need to see a different ID. Kasey is used to this so she take out her passport, which is what I have with me also. Then this woman actually says that a passport isn’t a valid form of ID. A passport! She tells us they are doing them on the internet now so they can’t be accepted. A passport! That people use to leave the country! The highest form of government ID! She tells us we can’t eat there. However we could get items to go. She tells a group of 8 people that we can’t eat there! Even if we aren’t drinking! Even though we have been drinking that day in actual bars! Oh and get this, there were children eating there. Like children under the age of 10.

I don’t want to say that this was racist, but we were in that sort of town and frankly I wouldn’t be surprised. It just seems really weird. We were so in shock that we just left without saying much of anything. It took a while to set it. This is a place where 3 of the girls in our group have gone to fairly often and they all said they have never had to show ID before. I’m calling today to talk to someone about it.*

We go to leave and I am getting into one side of the van and Kasey is getting into the other. She suddenly looks scared and freezes and the freaking pitbull has just jumped into the van! I am used to violent dogs so I figure I will just chance getting bit to get the dog out of the car and away from everyone else. I grab its collar and pull it out. He turns out to be friendly so I shut the door and then this dog starts to jump up to all the windows. We try to back out, but we are scared to hit him. Then as we carefully try to pull out this dog jumps on the hood of the car! There was a dog on the hood of our car and he was trying to climb onto the roof. Finally we realize this is going no where so one of the girls goes into the bar to get someone to hold it so we can leave the damn place while I am standing outside holding it’s collar. Geeze. It was such a mess and hopefully it didn’t mess up the van. (I, sadly, didn’t get a picture of this.)

We go to a nearby pizzeria and just have some dinner and go back home.

All in all it was a good day and it was really enjoyable getting to see people that we don’t get to see very much. Hopefully we will all do something together again soon. At least days like this give us something to laugh about. So concludes my first St. Patrick’s Day ever spent out.

* I called and the person was very rude and said it was their policy and that the children were allowed because they were with their parents. So maybe we should have said one of our friends was our guardian. Whatevs. We definitely won’t be going back there.

I have been dying to post about my Valentine’s Day. I know some people are so over the whole V-day thing, but it is honestly my favorite holiday. I just love going into stores and seeing lots of pink and red and hearts. It makes me happy.

This year is also special because it is Kasey and I’s first Valentine’s Day together. So it means a lot to me.

On Tuesday February 12, Kasey borrowed my car because she needed to run some secret errands. I was curious, but I wanted to leave it be because I know Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and she likes to be able to surprise me.

Later in the day after she had gotten home she said she was cleaning and making our room nice because sometimes she feels like I take on too much of the work. I thought that was super sweet of her.

She arrived at my office to pick me up from work and I was so excited to see her I forgot about the surprise. Due to the arriving snow I was able to leave work an hour early and go home.

When we got home I was excited to watch the episode of Beach Weddings I had Tivoed. However, Kasey motioned that she wanted to go upstairs. I thought that was fine. We could watch the episode later on. I followed her up to our room.

This is what I walked into!

I have a thing for those big balloons and to date I have only gotten one for my 21st birthday. It was really special to me that Kasey got these for me.

She set this up to ask me to be her valentine. I thought it was cute because it was more traditional instead of assuming I would be.

She even wore a shirt that had hearts on it that said Be Mine. It was so thoughtful.

Wednesday Kasey came to pick me up at work. On the seat was another cute box and it had a tag on it that said “I love…” and inside it was filled folded up pieces of paper and on each one she had written what she loves about me. It was amazing and I was totally blown away because it was stuffed full of these little papers.

She drove us to Blockbuster to rent movies (Becoming Jane and Martian Child) and on the way I opened the little papers and read what they said.

On Thursday I knew there was probably something planned, but I tried not to think about it too much.

When Kasey came to get me at work she brought me a bouquet of tulips.

Then we went back home and she had set up rose petals and confetti on the bed with tissue paper and balloons everywhere! It was so nice and I felt so loved.

In the box was a card and a specially made Valentine’s Day mix CD. Kasey makes me mix CD for special occasions and I can’t say how much it means to me. So that was really special to me.

I loved everything. It was perfect.

Thanks for putting up with me during this post and letting me remember everything.

My New Years celebration was perfection. As I mentioned previously Kasey and I had a reservation at this cute place called Simply Fondue in May’s Landing, New Jersey. I also thankfully got a camera for Christmas so the pictures are back!

On Monday Kasey and I slept in and relaxed for a while. We were thinking of staying overnight somewhere, but previous searches in the May’s Landing/Atlantic City area showed places like the Motel 8 going for $289 a night at the cheapest!! Staying somewhere didn’t seem like a possibility. Then we decided to just look and see in the Philadelphia area. We found an adorable extended stay room at Crosslands for just $56! We booked it ASAP. Since it was already 2:00 pm we decided to get on the road straightaway.

It was a nice hour and a half drive before we ended up in Maple Shade, New Jersey at our hotel. We made a run over to Acme market where we paid way too much for everything we needed. Then we headed back to the room and started to get ready for our dinner. I also made a little video. You can view it here. Yes, that is me talking.

Both showered and dressed and smelling good we got on the road again and drove the extra hour to May’s Landing. When we got there I didn’t know what to think because it was in a strip mall and I expected it to be fancier. However, once we got inside it was lovely. Lot’s of bright reds and oranges mixed with black and brown. We waited a bit and then we were taken to our private booth.

After a few minutes our waiter, Mark, came over and told us about the day’s menu. Apparently for New Years they only had one menu and it was $75 per person!

We had booked the reservation after getting an email talking about their 4-course meal for $37 a person! So we were panicked. There was no way we could pay the $150 because we didn’t even bring that much money with us. So we talked to the waiter and told him we were sorry, but we got the email and we didn’t know about the special menu. So we weren’t going to be able to stay. It was so sad and I was not looking forward to having to walk out.

Mark came back and told us that he talked to the manager and they said we could eat for the other price and it would include everything, but the lobster, champagne and party favors. Perfect!!! We were SO grateful to Mark and he was so sweet and helpful to us all meal long. It was fabulous and when we go back we will definitely seek him out as our server. He was also gay! It was great to have a gay waiter because it just sets me at ease when out on a date. Thrilling!

Here is also another video I made of Kasey eating Fondue. I am loving this camera!

At the end she says “It tastes like beer” It was cheddar cheese with a beer base.

Dinner was fantastic and dessert was the best ever. We totally killed the chocolate fondue. Kasey wants to go back just for dessert. I’m there! We got the Reese’s Peanut Butter Chocolate. Yum!

After our perfect dinner it was 10:55 pm. Oh no! We had about an hour drive to go and we wanted to be in the room at midnight. We got back as fast as we could without doing anything illegal.

We got off the exit when we saw our hotel and we were almost there. Then the road curved with no exit for the hotel. We were back on another road. What?! NO!!!! It was 11:50 pm at this point. Then we noticed a back entrance on the road that we passed a little. No one was behind us so we put the hazards on and backed up. We got off and then the road dipped down. It was bright shiny black. We slipped and slided a little. We didn’t know if it was deep or anything so we just drove though it quickly and made it into the hotel parking lot safely.

We made it in the room at 11:57 pm!!!! We turned on the TV and put on CNN Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper were hosting! We had three minutes. We quickly opened the Champagne and Peach Bellini mix we bought at Acme. We had the drinks done 10 seconds before midnight and we toasted and kissed to the New Year. Then we danced for a while in the room and enjoyed each others company. It was just so lovely and Kathy was hilarious. I just loved it.

The next morning we woke and stayed in the room until 11:00 check out and then we headed home.

We stopped for food around 2:00pm and since I picked Simply Fondue for our New Years Dinner I told Kasey we could go to her favorite restaurant for lunch. That being? Old Country Buffet. She loves it! I don’t mind because being there makes me feel pretty. (If you catch my drift.)

Today has been spent lounging around the house and watching A Good Year and many episodes of Seinfeld.

Happy New Year Everyone!!

So it’s over already. Christmas came and went before I even got used to the idea that it was that time of year.

My day actually turned out quite nice. I woke up around 8:00am and the rest of my family was already up and ready. I took a shower, got dressed then Kasey and I went down to join them. My mom made breakfast; we ate and then opened presents. Everyone seemed to really like what I got them. It turns out the money clip on my Brother Jay’s wallet was also a bottle opener, which was so perfect for him. It also turned out that Al needed a new wallet and he started putting stuff into the new one right away. My mom was all about the bottle of Lovely I got her and tried it on as we were sitting there and my dad started reading his Red Neck Dictionary aloud. So I felt really good about what I got everyone.

Kasey had a really bad day on Friday so I thought it would be a good idea to give her my present early. She loved it! I got her an iPod Classic and she was floored. So that was nice. She was one of the only people I knew who didn’t have an iPod yet. I also put some episodes of Chuck and Avatar on it for her. (She loves those shows.) I also got her the audio-book for The Golden Compass because she has wanted to read that. So that was another successful gift.

I got some great ones too! I got a new digital camera. Thank goodness! It’s cute. It is silver, but I suppose everything I own can’t be colorful. It’s a Canon PowerShot SD1000. It also has 7.1 mega pixels, which is wonderful. I also got Seinfeld seasons 1-4 from Kasey. My mom got me a gorgeous Gap sweater and a gift certificate. I have to admit that I really want to use that entire gift card on underwear. Kasey got me some tops from Lane Bryant and Old Navy. Jay gave me $20 and Al gave me a $15 iTunes card. My aunt and uncle gave me the 1st season of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List. My cousin gave me a fantastic Amazing Grace gift set and she got a gift card for Kasey and me to Regal cinemas. We can’t wait to use it! We want to see Sweeney Todd and Juno so badly. My sister got me a coffee grinder and some whole bean coffee grinder. Now I am dying to get a coffee maker for my room. How sweet would that be?

I think those are my highlights.

Also Kasey is officially living with me at my parent’s house. My website isn’t the place to go over the details, but she is doing well and things are good. My parent’s are amazing and sweet and I just don’t know what I would do without them. They never cease to surprise me. So I’m sure it is going to be a bit of an adjustment for both of us, but I am glad I was able to be here for her.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Mine was full of surprises.

P.S. - Whilst redeeming my iTunes card the code wouldn’t go through. WTF? Then I put on my glasses. Yeah…that P was actually and F. And it works. I should really start wearing these things.

My dog, Willow, seems to be doing a lot better. She got all sorts of injections and medications and she is still not doing 100%, but I really thought we might have had to put her down last week so compared to that she is fantastic.

I now have the code I need to register for classes, but I can’t do that until I pay off my college bill (whoops) so I guess that is what I need to focus on next week.

A situation arose with Kasey’s family and she is now living with me at my parent’s house. We have a lot to learn about each other.

I can’t believe that it is Christmas tomorrow. It is blowing my mind. Kasey and I have to brave the stores a bit today to get must-have items like juice and bows. I realize we are crazy. A different crazy however from my mother who started Christmas shopping today.

New Years Eve plans have been postponed (canceled?) so we might just find something little to do around town. Who knows. I don’t really mind in any case.

I hope all of you are doing well. Thanks for staying with me this year. I don’t know how I would have made it through this year without a blog. I love you guys!

I may be finally getting into the holiday spirit. I have almost all my Christmas shopping done and my gifts wrapped. I just ordered some things online this week with the guarantee that they would be in before Christmas. We’ll see how that goes. I have also been diligently working on some little projects that go along with certain gifts.

Today I have to go to school to finally register for classes which I have been putting off for a while now. I don’t really want to get into it. I’m just going to have to put my anxiety aside somehow and get done what needs to be done.

I was given the task of decorating the tree at my parents house and I just can’t get into it. That is one thing I am just not up to. So tonight my sister and mom are going to get pizza and wings and we are all going to decorate the house and tree. I think it’s a really good idea and I am happy to participate. I can get down with doing it all together, but me decorating a tree by myself is not something I am up to.

My friend, Kyle, is up from Boston and we have been spending some time together lately. Last night I went over to his house and saw the rest of A Smoky Mountain Christmas, had dinner, made cookies from scratch and watched an episode of Project Runway. I had a really enjoyable time. I’m glad we are getting to see each other so much this time. Sometimes when he visits I don’t get to see him at all.

I also have New Years Eve plans!! This will be my first new years in a long time that I have plans for. Kasey and I will be having a 4-course dinner at Simply Fondue and going to a club in Philadelphia and staying the night in that area. I can not wait! I love fancy dinners and I have never had fondue before. I’m also excited to actually be out when it’s time to ring in 2008. I’m ready for a new year. I’m done with 2007. I want to leave it in the past.

One of my bad habits is going to the website for Perez Hilton. I don’t do it religiously, but I do enjoy hearing celebrity gossip. Is it wrong that I sort of enjoyed reading about this whole Jamie Lynne Spears thing? Also I don’t even know what to think about this.

Jon Armstrong wrote this great piece at blurbomat about being with someone who suffers from depression. For me being someone who needs to deal with my depression issues often it was interesting to read the other side.

Lastly, my oldest dog Willow doesn’t seem to be doing well. She has hard pumps all over her body, she is walking slow, her tummy is all read with gray spots, he eyes are bloodshot, she isn’t getting excited about things she usually likes, she went outside several times in the middle of the night last night, she threw-up and she has been digging in the snow to get to grass to eat. I’m really worried about her. She’s not too old. She will be 8 on March 1st. It just seems to have come up all of the sudden. She seemed fine until yesterday when she seemed really bad. I mean…I don’t know what this means. We’re going to be keeping an eye on her and see if she approves. My brother and parents are so attached to this dog. I just don’t know what they would do if something happened to her. I’m actually very scared about it.

I just got back from taking her to the vet and they gave her 3 injections and 3 prescriptions as well as special food. We got blood work done and now we are waiting for the results…I’m so nervous. Kasey surprised me by coming to the vet’s office while I was there. That was really nice. I needed the support. I’ll keep you guys updated.

I am completely finished with my two classes! I still haven’t actually registered for my other classes, but that is a whole complicated mess. Whatever. We will see where it goes, but still I completed my two classes and that is all that matters. The grades are still a mystery. I think they become official on the 21st so by this Friday I will announce my grades unless I know before then. I’m optimistic about them.

It’s been no secret that I haven’t really been in the Christmas spirit this year. I think I would go as far as to say I have been a bit anti-Christmas. The lights have been annoying me, the shoppers, the decorations, the spending money I don’t have, the music. Oh god the music. Then I was in Border’s yesterday and they had carolers there! Bad ones! I feel Jewish this year. I feel like I am trying to go about my nice Jewish existence and Santa and his fucking reindeer keep slapping me in the face with their faux Christmas cheer. So, you know, maybe I have been a little glass half empty this season. I don’t think the Christmas music piped into my office all day long is really helping. (Elvis’s Blue Christmas is truly a song to slit your wrists to.)

I’m not always like this though. Christmas is usually me favorite time of the year. (Except for the fact that it is in Winter and freezing.) However, things are looking up. I was recently able to finish my Christmas shopping and get everyone something nice. Tonight Kasey and I are going to have a little Christmas evening where we watch Home Alone and wrap presents to our families. Then I am going to (maybe) help her decorate her tree. Back to the grinchiness: If there is one thing I can’t take this year it is the trees. I am trying to get my family to just leave it alone and not put one up this year. After a week of nagging I finally put one up at my office in the lobby only to have the damn thing fall over about an hour later. All the decorations and such fell off so now I am once again putting off fixing it. I do get more time off from work this year which is nice.

I’m just really conflicted about celebrating this year and how to celebrate. I’m used to Christmas being about my big crazy family and all our little traditions and it was so nice. Since my break-up my family is split in half and it’s hard to start anew. It also makes me feel bad because this is my first holiday season with Kasey and I don’t want to ruin it with my negativity. I want us to have fun together and start our own traditions. Luckily she doesn’t seem to mind the negativity. She just thinks it’s funny due to all my rants. Last night she said spending time with me was how she would imagine it would be like to hang out with Kathy Griffin. I wasn’t sure if she meant that as a compliment, but I love Kathy Griffin so I definitely took it as one.

My cousin usually peps up Christmas by creating a game for me to play to win my gifts. This year I am going to be one step ahead and create her one based on the TV show Friends. She loves that show. So I should probably start on that asap. You guys! We have a little more than a week left. Then I am going to try and go into a deep sleep till May when the weather is nice again.

Title: “Mr. Grinch” by Dr. Seuss (As fas as I can tell)